Archive for the ‘Jokes, Humor’ Category

24
Dec

This is a joke that my friend Ken from Boston sent us, enjoy!

  

Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in  New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.

 

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

 

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

 

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

 

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. ‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’ So she continues upward.

 

The third floor sign reads:

 

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

 

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

 

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

 

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads;

 

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

 

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads;

 

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,908 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

 

The first floor has wives that love sex.

 

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

 

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

 

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06
Jul

Every week I get numerous funny jokes in my inbox. Today I got the idea to share them with everyone ( The clean ones anyway.. )

 

An 85-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back
with normal results.
The doctor says, ‘Bob, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?
Are you at peace with God?’
Bob replies, ‘God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so
he’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I’m done, poof!, the light
goes off.’
‘Wow, that’s incredible,’ the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bob’s wife. ‘ Sandy ,’ he
says, Bob is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of
his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night
and, poof!, the light goes on in the bathroom and when he’s done,
poof!, the light goes off?’
‘Oh my God!’ Sandy exclaims. ‘He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!’

 

CYA

 

Spark Dad

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